My Dad is coming to visit. I want him to have a really good time and he wants to go to Las Vegas. He's here for ten days, so I'll show him around San Diego, take him to all the beautiful spots and then head through the desert to the big Neon Nightmare. Not a problem. But I really want to show him a good time. He works hard. he deserves a holiday that will live long in the memory. So I've tried using the reviews on Trip Advisor and Yahoo Travel to check out a few potential hotels.
Bad idea.
Every hotel I've checked out reads like heaven one minute and then hell the next. This goes for everything from the Bellagio down to the cheapest motel:
'DO NOT GO TO THIS HOTEL'
I found a dead skunk in my bed, it was crawling with maggots. When I called the front desk they screamed that I was a whore and they were going to send up the police. At the breakfast buffet the next morning the coffee was only lukewarm and they had never heard of Fruitos.
JULIET - MINNESOTA
'THE BEST HOTEL EVER'
We've been here five times since our Honeymoon. All the staff are wonderful, beyond good. They don't accept tips and instead force money on you in the manner of a wealthy indulgent uncle.
BOB - TEXAS
'NOT A FIVE STAR HOTEL'
Don't let them give you a room in the East Tower. Our bed was a giant Cockroach. We couldn't sleep as it kept moving around and my husband bumped his head on the wall.
TEEL - LIVERPOOL
'THIS HOTEL SHOULD HAVE TEN STARS'
The best experience of my life. The pool may be endowed with the elixir of life as my stage four cancer is now in full remission. We could see the fountains from the room, it was like looking into the face of God. DO NOT STAY ANYWHERE ELSE OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU.
STACY - N.Y.
'NOT ROMAN'
They call it Caesar's Palace but the moment you look like your going to roll a Christian in tar and set him on fire the security are all over you. Also, do not plan on sticking your fingers down your throat to really take advantage of the all you can eat buffet. There is no VOMITORIUM, repeat, NO VOMITORIUM. Totally Lame. May as well have stayed at the Wynn.
DAVE - BRUBECK
I'm not exaggerating. Check it out for yourself.
OK, I may be exaggerating a little. But still, it's very hard to know what to do.
